A HELPMEET, I AM MEANT TO BE TO MY HUSBAND

INTRODUCTION
Our society today is faced with many challenges especially were so many women have lost their priorities, they believe they are equal with their men when the Bible made us understand that the man is the head of his home just as Christ is the head of the Church (Eph. 5:23). Thus, it is very wrong when we see unhealthy competition in the Home front where women are fighting the position of winning their children to themselves rather than supporting the husband to build a peaceful, stable and godly home. This can only be derived if the helpmeet sees herself as someone who is there to achieve the success of her husband and not his downfall. You are designed to make his life brighter, better and easier.

WHO IS A HELPMEET

And the Lord God said, it is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him. (KJV, Genesis 2:18) The Hebrew word “ezerkenegedo” literally means “a helper like his opposite”. Eve was not designed to be exactly like Adam. She was designed to be his mirror opposite, possessing the other half of qualities, responsibilities, and attributes which he lacked. She was Adam’s complete spiritual equal, endowed with and essential saving power that was opposite from his. A helpmeet is someone suitable and designed to be of great assistance or suitable helper to her husband. She is in some way his counselor, comforter, intercessor and advocate.

A WIFE, A HELPMEET TO HER HUSBAND

Many times we have seen where women will be so nice to other men but to her husband they are cat and rat who does not see any good in each other but this is not meant to be so. A woman is a helpmeet to her husband. She is meant to complement her husband; where the husband is weak, she is meant to fill in the gap. Christ should be the driving force in their home. God knew the man cannot accomplish much by saying “It is not good for man to be alone; I will make him a helpmeet for him” God created Eve for Adam’s companionship, helper, support and encouragement. Amos 3:3 says can two work together, except they agree. There must be a very smooth relationship between the man and his wife in other to achieve much in the home. A helpmeet you are meant to be to your husband only. He paid you bride prize, you know yourselves as spouse better than your closest neighbor because you live together, the bond that can never be broken except by the parties involved.

THE CHARACTERISTICS OF A HELPMEET

When we talk about characteristics of a helpmeet we are talking about the behavior, attribute and attitude of the woman to her husband.The following are some characteristics of a helpmeet:

a.   She is godly, a born again and God fearing (John 3:3, 7; 1John 2:9, 3:9, 5:1);

b.   She is loving and caring (1Cor. 13; 1Tim. 2:15; Heb. 13:1; 1Cor. 17:14; 1Thes. 2:7)

c.    She is teachable and listens (1John 4:6; James 1:9, 22-23)

d.   She is neat and well organized.

e.   She is sacrificial and hospitable.

f.     She is peaceful and seeks the peace and progress of all, not a busybody (Prov. 14:30; 1 Timothy 5:13; Leviticus 19:16);

g.    She is gentle and humble not proud and disrespectful

h.   She is a role model in her home and the neighborhood (Eph. 4:29)

i.     She is highly discerning and dependable on God to supply all their needs. 

WAYS OF BEING A GOOD HELPMATE TO MY HUSBAND

What then are the things you are expected to do as a woman to be a perfect helpmeet to your husband? You are called to be a companion to your husband in all areas of the marriage. You are to support YOUR husband in the following ways.

1.    Emotionally: You are not to cause trouble to your husband, be a source of encouragement to him. Most men hate a nagging and troublesome wife (See Prov. 21:19). He will prefer to stay late with his friends than to come home to your unending complains all night long. Please give the man a break, space, time and peace of mind or else he will abandon you and mind you, loneliness can kill. Make your environs a pleasant, cheerful, welcoming, loving and happy home rather make him feel accepted, appreciated, admired and wanted.

2.    Spiritually: Every godly woman will always want to see the good of her husband. As husband and wife who have the same values and principles in life you must work together to raise Godly children and have many blessings. A suitable helpmeet will always pray for the progress and success of her husband, she will never wish him evil all the days of her life (Prov. 31:12). She will never want his downfall and shame. Together they must depend on their creator for solution to all their needs and ask God for direction. Even if he is not a believer we can win the battle for him on our knees (see 1Pet. 3:1-6)

3.    Sexually: Asides the basic needs of any man (food, shelter and clothes), a husband needs his wife to be very close to him, he needs your intimacy. This brings about oneness, unity, trust, forgiveness, compassion, love and healing to the body. You cannot deprive your husband of sex except when you are menstruating, fasting on his permission or sick (see 1 cor. 7:5) or else if he does not have the fear of God he will go out and be satisfied by strange women. Don’t use your attitude to break your home, be available.

4.    Mentally: Several times as partners you must take considerable compassion and compromise in order to let peace reign in your home. The African proverbs says when two elephants are fighting, it is the grasses that suffers. The Bible urges you as a woman to be submissive to your husband (see 1 Peter 3:1-6, Eph. 5:22-24). That is, a helpmeet does not argue and fuss with her husband instead she works with Him. I know this may be hard but you must humble yourself, most times we fight the battle that God has finished for us. We don’t need to force the man, if this is want he want it ok as long as it’s not going to make you sin against God and its for the good of us all. Always thing positive and know that whatever decision you take, can either build or mar you relation and home. The fear of the Lord should be our guide. Then our household shall be praised, our husband will be respected at the city gates and everyone shall see us as role models and not trouble makers.

You may want to say, I do virtually all that is aid above but what if:

1.    He does not perform his responsibility as the head of the family?

2.    He never for ones says well-done or thank you, what should I do?

3.    He does not discuss his future plans with me, so how will I be of help to him?

4.    He does not love me and he sees another woman outside, should I confront him or the other lady in other to get my man back?

5.    He never wants to see me or my children and he does not want my relatives to help me. He only wants to see us suffer.

This and many more question props into our mind but be comforted with this song.

Solution:

Prayer is the key} 2x

Prayer is the master key;

Jesus started with prayer and ended with prayers,

Prayer is the master key.

Dearly beloved in Christ, no matter the persecution or trials you may be facing in your marriage right now, the Bible say, He who things is standing, should be careful less you fall (1Cor. 10:12). Therefore:

1.    Pray to God to help you know the right step(s) to take.

2.    Know the kind of people you share your problems with. That is why you have spiritual heads, talk to your Pastor and his wife. Sometimes your extended family members may not help matters. They may not tell you the truth in order not to hurt your feelings. And at the same time keeping quite has made many end up in the grave before their time, so speak out.  

3.    In the case of the husband who does not appreciate his wife, please don’t relent in doing what is right because you know your Father who sees in secret will surely reward you. Don’t be discourage, keep the faith that one day your labour over your household will never be in vain. (see Matt. 24:13, Rom. 12:1)

4.    For the issue of planning as a family, let your husband know you are very judicious in your spending. Be helpful and supportive in all area of life, care, love and cherish him. Don’t always think about yourself alone, thing about the family (see Phil. 2:4), contribute your own small piece even if you earn very little. Little drops of water make a mighty ocean. Your contribution to the family is a great relieve to your husband and over time, he will come to appreciate all your effort and pure out his plans to you.

5.    If your husband doesn’t want to see you or hear about you or as vanished to a strange woman’s laps. Ask yourself what was the cause of this action. If you are the cause, repent and have a new leaf. Let him hear and see that you have genuinely changed. If you don’t know why he suddenly changed towards you and your children, please fast and pray that whatever might have been the cause (spiritual forces) that God will find a lasting solution to the problem. God hate divorce (Malachi 2:16). This is no the time for you to go your own way too (another man in your life). Adulterers cannot inherit the kingdom of God, have time for yourself and your children. Tell God to help you restore your love and family to the right place. Keep communicating with him, tell him about his children, don’t just leave him alone to himself or to the strange woman. If the Church has intervened and it seems there is no headway, then inform his parents or relative of his actions and how he has abandoned his home. Sisters you can win this battle on your knees and God will fight your battle for you, look on to God alone and be faithful to Him alone. (see Prov. 31:31)

6.    Note that your husband should be above your children not the other way around. These children will grow one day and leave you alone. Only God should be above our husbands in our lives. Love what he loves as long as its not something illegal or sinful and not hazardous to your health.

7.    Dear Sister, Mother, yes you woman find work to do, don’t depend on your husband pocket alone. Work to support him. Don’t make your expectation too high or else you will soon land into trouble. Treat him with honour and respect especially when you are not alone, people are watching.

CONCLUSION:
You are married to that man because God permitted it to happen, then give your best to be the best helpmeet God has made you to be in his life. Always remember, you are the right helper in the life of your husband. As long as you live together you will know what is lacking and God will help you in filling the blank spaces in his life. No matter the challenges we are faced with, our marriages deserve to be preserved, honored, rescued and treasured. Have eternity in view in whatever you do and say in your home for we shall all give account of our deed before God the greatest judge (Rev. 20:11-120). Maranatha.

PRAYER:
Lord help me to be a perfect helpmeet to my husband, help me to love my children and be a model to them, Restore my home to your path and the glory of your name in Jesus name. Amen.

REFERENCE:

Heaven Ministries, How a Christian wife is to be a helpmeet to her husband  www.heavenministries.com  December, 2010

James E. Faberge The real meaning of the term “Help meet” www.womeninthescriptures.com  November 9, 2010.

The Peaceful wife, A real helpmeet suitable for him https://peacefulwife.com/2012/12/26/1-real-helpmeet-suitable-for-him-2/ Dec. 25, 2012

Cindi McMenamin, 10 Ways To Be Your Husband’s Number 1 Helper www.crosswalk.com

Jeff A. Benner, What is a “help meet www.ancient-hebrew.org. 17/11/2018

Photo Designed by F. A. Adewole